You know, I’ve written before about kids and death. More specifically, how kids think about or try to understand death. It is interesting. When I was about six years old, I remember being freaked out by what death really meant. I have the distinct memory of asking my mother if she would die one day and how tormented I was to learn that indeed one day both she and my father would die. They were my life and the life of my brother and sisters and “the family”. If they “left”, it certainly would be the end of the world as I knew it and that was mind-blowingly clear to me. It was a bit unsettling, I don’t mind telling you.
Anyway, it doesn’t seem to bother my kids in quite the same way. Maybe it is just a concept to them or maybe we (my wife and I) seem a bit more disposable.
Well, Sunday we were driving to the movies and happened to pass a cemetery. My four year old son and my six year old daughter were with me.
The conversation went something like this, “Hey Drake, there is a cemetory over there. When you die, they put you in the dirt there. They have everyone’s name there and that’s where they put you when you die.” my daughter said.
“Wreally?” My son replied. “Yes… They have my name, your name, Mommy’s name, Daddy’s name…” “Do they have Nia Nia’s (Grandmother) name?” asked my son.
“Yes. They have everyone’s name.” said my daughter. “Wreally? Everyone goes there?” “Yes she confirmed.” “In the cemetery?” “No, it’s called a cemetory.” she wrongly corrected.
I had to chuckle a little at how my daughter was taking such joy at teaching the ins and outs of something she really didn’t understand and was really thin on the details about. It struck me how we all do the same thing… wanting, to be experts on things (especially the more shocking and sensational). We take such pride and self-importance from speaking about things we really don’t understand; but I guess that is the nature of us humans… 10 parts reality and 90 parts bullshit not.
I vowed, as I listened to older sister educating younger brother, that I would try to be a bit more diligent in my own instructions and explanations in my role as father and chief bullshitter instructor during their formative years… I just have to brush up on my details about God, the moon, life, death, war, hate, love and sex… Hmmm… I’m screwed.
Your kids look SO sweet). Your daughter is really a gracious princess.
I think it is actually wonderful that they stay away from painful realizations of how things may be, it is some blessing for them, I think… Like everyone wants their kids to believe in Santa, in tooth and other fairies, let them live in their little paradise and speak about sorrow lightly…
Or maybe (I am not sure though), maybe they carry it (still) from the past life, that “up there” is something not scary (as seems from what I read)…
I.e., when I was a child, I remember that when I walked, the things passing were described with lines – words and sentences I saw n my mind, a constant narration “she walked out and turned left, the ground was barely covered with snow”, I saw words forming lines of a written text.
Then, in some years, it disappeared. I guess, this is because I wrote something in some past life (texts), and it was a memory. I am even sure that this was like that. I read of such stories later.
So maybe when she talks, she FEELS some energy associated to it, and she knows she came back from a place not scary?.. But rather joyful. Most felt it so (who were there).
This is funny, she looks a lot like you, and at the same time she is so feminine-girly)).
(no, you don’t look girly))).