Yes, yes… the anal probing is over. Our IRS audit has finished… Oh… my last prostate exam also turned out okay. As far as that goes, it seems that an irritated bladder lining can also create the same sensations as prostatitis and all the bitter tea I had been drinking was irritating my bladder lining. I guess that’s one for “all in moderation”. Anyway, I feel lucky that I have a urologist who thinks outside the prostate. So many doctors are so anxious to prescribe medication or surgery, that it is extremely fortunate to have one that really wants to know what they are treating before they jump to conclusions.
So… back to the REAL anal probing… the audit. I mean, yes, the prostate exam is embarrassing, awkward, humiliating and an entire range of other human emotions but for sheer abject terror… there is nothing like the dreaded IRS audit. At least with the prostate exam, you know the doctor is going to leave everything where it is. When the IRS goes up your butt, there is that fear that they will take something you need… like your liver, lungs, heart or endocrine system.
In our case, we got off easy… if you can call $5,700 and change “easy”. The auditor actually turned out to be a nice lady and she and my wife hit it off. Fortunately, the auditor did not elect to inflict a penalty, which she could have. So… all in all… we have to say, we made an innocent mistake and are paying what we owe (plus interest). It was fair. I got a new set of underwear and an appreciation for cpa’s out of the deal and the government got what was coming to them. Everyone is happy… not an awful, though still terrifying, experience. All’s well that ends well. Now we just need to find the money to make the payment… argh….
On a related note… my four and a half year old car has just gone over 200,000 miles. That is approximately 77 trips across America (for those of you who have trouble imaging what that actually relates to)… just in case you think I might be relaxing in my old age… too bad car dealers don’t give you frequent driving miles… that would be cool, wouldn’t it?
Finally, the answer to my riddle a few postings ago:
If you want to find a single heavy ball among nine identical balls and only have a balance scale which you can only use twice… here is the solution. First, split the balls in three groups of three. Put two groups on the scale… one on each side. If the scale balances, then the heavy ball is in your hand. If one side of the scale tips down… then that set of three has the heavy ball. So now that you know which group has the heavy ball, repeat the same process except using single balls from the group that contains the heavy ball. One ball on each side of the scale and one in your hand. If the two on the scale balance, then the one in your hand is the heavy ball. If one of the balls on the scale is heavier than the other, the scale will indicate that. Either way… you will know which of the nine balls is uniquely heavy and you can pass your application test and become employed (hopefully).
Peace out….
